RockStar

Soulmate...!

2009-01-28T16:36:00.000-08:00

"A soulmate is someone who has locks that fit our keys, and keys to fit our locks. When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and we can completely and honestly be who we are..."

Have you found your soulmate...?

Am I Existing Or Am I Living...?

2009-01-23T15:05:00.000-08:00

This past couple of weeks (people I live with will disagree and say it's been longer than that!) has been such a roller coaster ride for me - emotionally. Thus, this random blog...

I was watching this movie the other night and one of the characters asked the other one, "Are you existing or are you living?" I thought it was a great line. Had me asking myself the same question ever since.

So am I existing or am I living?

I've always believed in being 'there' wherever you are. Be 'there' mentally and emotionally, not just physically. Carpe diem. Live in the moment. Savour every minute.

However, I've been questioning my existence lately. Whether I'm just being there/here physically. Am I living the life that I'm supposed to be living? Am I where I'm supposed to be? Am I living in the moment on a daily basis?

What IF, in my sometimes confused and analytical head, I'm thinking that this isn't where I want to be nor is this the life I want to live or supposed to live? What do you do then? Exist or live? Do you look ahead and think about the different consequences and ramifications that will come from changing things? What do you change? Yourself or your situation?

What if you will always ask yourself, "Am I existing or am I living?"; no matter what?

How about you? Are you existing or are you living?

Happy New Year...!

2009-01-11T23:13:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year everyone! I hope you all had a wonderful Holiday Season and hopefully you were surrounded by your loved ones. I'll be sharing stories soon when I have more time but until then, I wanted to share something I came across the web today:


"Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so love the
people who treat you right, forget about the ones who don't, and
believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance,
take it. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said life would be easy,
they just promised it would be worth it."

To new beginnings, new adventures, new lessons to learn, new mistakes to make, new attitude, new outlook in life, new everything. Cheers!

You...!

2008-12-22T20:09:00.000-08:00

YES YOU!

My youngest has demanded that we listen to ONLY Christmas songs during the holidays when we're in the car. He claims he's tired of all the other songs they keep playing over and over, and he wants to sing new songs. So we've been listening to KOIT radio on 96.5 FM and all they play are Christmas songs.

I keep hearing this song and I just LOVE it! I couldn't figure out the title and/or the artist until I realized I had Shazam on my iPhone! It's an application that you enable when you want to know the info of the song playing on the radio. So I did and not only did it give me the title of the song but it gave me the artist, release date, etc. You get my drift...

Anyway, I LOVE IT! Thought I'd share it... It is Christmas after all - season for sharing :)

Enjoy!

I never felt alone, I was happy on my own.
And who would ever know there was something missing?
I guess I didn't see the possibility, it was waiting all the time,
but it never crossed my mind, till you opened up my eyes.

Now I all I think about is you, in my life, in my dreams,
in my heart I know it's true that I belong with you.
Because of you in my world, in my arms, I have everything
and now I can't imagine what I'd do without you.

I never thought love could be such a curiousity.
What attracted you to me was soo unexpected,
but it was waiting all of the time and it never
crossed my mind, till you opened up my eyes.

Now I all I think about is you, in my life, in my dreams,
in my heart I know it's true, that I belong with you.
Because of you in my world, in my arms, I have everything
and now I can't imagine what I'd do without you.

You, in my life, in my dreams, in my heart,
I know it's true that I belong with you.
Because of you in my world, in my arms, I have everything
and now I can't imagine what i'd do.

Without you, in my life, in my dreams,
in my heart I know it's true, that I belong with you.
Because of you in my world, in my arms, I have everything
and now I can't imagine what i'd do.
I can't imagine what i'd do.. Without you...

Finally, A Daughter...!

2008-12-17T10:06:00.001-08:00

Meet our new addition to the family - Sweet Mocha!!

I've had a bad month - maybe a year! - and after a very grumpy day, I came home to a sweet surprise! Hubby got me a puppy! I've always wanted a puppy we can train and she is seven weeks old. Now eight and a half :)

The first thing that came of my mouth was, "Awww, I'm gonna name her Mocha." My youngest interjected with, "I already named her Sweet." So we compromised and gave her the name Sweet Mocha.

She is so tiny! The length of my forearm and she's kinda whiny and wimpy, but she's just a baby... She slept with my youngest on her first night at home and he came down from his room at 6am crying, "I don't want her to sleep with me anymore! She kept licking me all night and I didn't get any sleep!" He's like me when it comes to sleep - LET US SLEEP and DON'T WAKE US UP before we HAVE to wake up; or we're grumpy all day! Lol!

After that night, Sweet Mocha slept with Kuya (Oldest) for about three nights then she started sleeping with us and for the first time last night, she actually slept in her bed all by herself! Good girl!!

Anyway... check out her first outfit!!

It's been so cold lately and I feel so sorry for her when she goes outside to go #1 and #2. She's always shivering and she won't use the training pad inside the house. So last night, Kuya and I went to Target to find her sweaters, etc. Nothing fit her! The smallest was still too big! So we were browsing through the toy section, b/c I needed to pick up a gift for one of youngest's classmate's birthday present and what did we find?! A boxed set of outfit for toy puppies! Woohoo! We tried to look for other ones but this was the only one they had.

We put it on her when we got home and she loved it! Even the lil toy collar :) I'll have to go to another Target to find other ones... Hubby said, "That is so girly!" Well, duh, honey -- she is a girl after all! Lol!

Ahhh, finally - there's another bitch in the house! I'll gladly pass on my Princess crown and put on my Queen crown.

I'm STILL the bigger bitch ;-)

I'm Movin On...!

2008-12-04T15:27:00.000-08:00

One day... someday... this is going to be my song, and when I sing it like a real cowgirl donning my sexy cowgirl boots and cowgirl hat, lookin H-O-T as one Filipino cowgirl can be, I will mean every single damn word of it...

Someday...

I've dealt with my ghosts
And I've faced all my demons
Finally content with the past I regret
I found you find strength in your moments of weakness
For once I'm at peace with myself
I've been burdened with blame
Trapped in the past for too long
I'm movin on

I've lived in this place
And I know all the faces
Each one is different
But they're always the same
They mean me no harm
But it's time that I face it
They'll never allow me to change
But I never dreamed
Home would end up where I don't belong
I'm movin on

I'm movin on
At last I can see (Last I can see)
Life has been patiently waiting for me
And I know there's no guarantees
But I'm not alone
There comes at time
In everyones life
When all you can see
Are the years passing by (are the years passing by)
And I have made up my mind
That those days are gone

I've sold what I could
Packed what I couldn't
Stopped to fill up on my way out of town
I've loved like I should
But lived like I shouldn't
I had to lose everything to find out
Maybe forgiveness will find me somewhere down this road
I'm moving on
I'm moving on
I'm moving on

OCDepression - Part Deux...!

2008-11-30T19:09:00.001-08:00

I was browsing through Post Secrets today and saw this... I guess I'm not the only one who suffers from OCD - or rather, saved from committing suicide by OCD. Either way, I'm still undecided on whether I'm happy to be alive today or not...

I know I am. Sometimes. I think...

Oh shit, there goes the bipolar part of me coming out again. Fuck!

They Flew Away...!

2008-11-30T18:50:00.001-08:00

I'm so sad... the dragonfly earrings I shared with ya'll flew away from me on Thanksgiving day :( Ironically enough, we were at my Aunt J's house - who is JackStar's future MIL.

I looked for them in my hair, in between the couch cushions, under the couch, in my purse, in the car, outside - everywhere! I looked throughout the night and they were nowhere to be found :( I was even tempted to check in the bird's belly to see if he swallowed them by mistake...

I also checked when I got home because H said he didn't think I wore em, but they weren't at home either.

I called my Aunt today hoping they turned up somewhere but no such luck...

I'm so sorry Jackie...!! I hope they find their way home soon... someday.

Chasing Pavements...!

2008-11-29T23:33:00.000-08:00

I've made up my mind,
Don't need to think it over,
If I'm wrong I am right,
Don't need to look no further,
This ain't lust, I know this is love but,

If I tell the world,
I'll never say enough,
Cause it was not said to you,
And that's exactly what I need to do,
If I'm in love with you,

Should I give up,
Or should I just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere,
Or would it be a waste?
Even If I knew my place should I leave it there?
Should I give up,
Or should I just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere

I'd build myself up,
And fly around in circles,
Waiting as my heart drops,
And my back begins to tingle
Finally could this be it

Should I give up,
Or should I just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere,
Or would it be a waste?
Even If I knew my place should I leave it there?
Should I give up,
Or should I just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere

Should I give up,
Or should I just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere,
Or would it be a waste?
Even If I knew my place should I leave it there?
Should I give up,
Or should I just keep on chasing pavements?
Should I just keep on chasing pavements?

Should I give up,
Or should I just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere, Or would it be a waste?
Even If I knew my place should I leave it there?
Should I give up,
Or should I just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere

Sweet Jackie Lautchang-a-lang-lang...!

2008-11-25T19:52:00.000-08:00

Awww, look at these pair of dragonfly earrings that Jacking Lautchang of SoRealCru sent me... such a sweet dork :P She sent us SoRealCru shirts and when I received the package (I love receiving packages in the mail! It's like Christmas! Woohoo!) I found this small white box and inside were these cute dragonfly earrings...

So I called her right away and she said she got 'em for me when she was in Arizona because when she saw 'em they reminder her of me. Isn't that sweet?! Spoken like a true Pisces! We're both Pisceans and we have that trait in us. Whenever we see something that reminds us of someone special, we get it for them... She emailed me a picture of a dragonfly that she saw at the studios where they were practicing one time too.

I miss you JackStar!! You know you're always welcome in our home whenever you come visit Nonong and of course, I will always make your favorite sinigang :D

I swear those two, all they eat when they're at my house is sinigang. I'll make a big pot of it the day they arrive and they'll eat it everyday all day til they leave. Even if I make other dishes, they still prefer their sinigang...

Photo: night out at Space 550, SF; with Supreme Soul and Tiffany of Fanny Pack. We weren't drunk yet when we took this photo. I have others after we've taken like five shots of Surfer On Acid and a couple of Patrons... we won't be posting those here... hahaha!

49ers v Rams...!

2008-11-25T19:08:00.000-08:00

So, oldest and I finally went to our first pro football game ever - and of course we had to see my St. Louis Rams against his 49ers :D

Mommy waited last minute, as usual, to get tickets from StubHub.com and at first we couldn't decide where to sit but we ended up getting great seats. Original price was $98 per ticket but we got it for like half price.

I was the only St. Louis fan in our section but it was all good. I was still cheering for my losing Rams... :( 49er fans are nowhere near as rowdy, rude and hostile as Raiders fans. Now, if we were at a Raiders game, I would've been tarred and feathered - no doubt!

After taking a couple of pictures for our myspace accounts - yay! - and my blog, first picture he made a face and I was like, "C'mon you gotta smile." So he takes another one and he's smiling and I'm making a face! Lol! But we finally got it right...

Check out those 'tight ends' -- (cheschire cat grin) -- hahaha!

Those are oldest's favorite 'tight ends' -- he zoomed in his camera on a couple of 'em and took pictures but we won't be posting those on here...!

Check out that final score... I thought it was going to be a closer game since both teams sucks (!!), but the first half started to look like the Rams game the week before when they got slaughtered by the Jets 47 - 3!!

"Well Mom, I never thought I'd be going to my first football game with you but you're a cool Mom :) And, it's game over. Your Rams SUCKS!!"

"Yeah, I know... but it's all about loyalty, my son."

Well, time to leave the field... win or lose, I still love you guys! See you next season...

PEACE OUT! (note to self: get your nails done!!)

Tiffany Charms...!

2008-11-17T00:42:00.000-08:00

I LOVE these new Tiffany & Co. charms!!

I'm sitting here watching Larry King's interview with Gov. Sarah Palin - very eloquent, well-spoken, intelligent and impressive woman, by the way - and I'm browsing through Tiffany & Co.'s website and since I haven't bought anything from there in almost a year (can you say, 'withdrawals?') I thought I'd 'window shop' what charms I can add to my collection.

So, add these to my Christmas wish list!!

I so hope Santa checks our wish lists as well and isn't spending all his time checking his own damn list on who's been naughty or nice... We all know I'm not always nice...

Speaking of being naughty and nice... T&Co had these double-sided 'Naughty/Nice' charms before and when I went to get mine, they've ran out :( Anyway, here's the new one. The word 'Naughty' is now in red enamel, the word 'Nice' on the other side is still the same boring silver engraving - boring, just like if you were nice year round! Lol!

Then there's also this new lock charm with a star inside. Because I am THE ORIGINAL ROCKSTAR. The rest are copy-cats, posers, fakes, biters - who will be dumped in the Bay!

Last but not the least, is the lock charm with a heart inside. I love 'hearts' especially since my lil' one was born on Valentine's Day... Our Lil' Cupid...

Both lock charm's heart and star comes in the red enamel and the Tiffany blue enamel. So cute!

Now, the perfect Christmas gift would be opening a big, brown Louis Vuitton box and seeing a Damier Neverfull PM inside FILLED with all three of these charms!! Woohoo!! Ahhh... Heavenly Christmas... Hey! A girl can still dream...

So Santa, make this girl's Christmas wish list come true and check my list twice instead of yours...

My Newest Louis Vuitton...!

2008-11-15T19:43:00.001-08:00

So I bought the Monogram Canvas Neverfull MM last month and I just saw the Damier Neverfulls on Louis Vuitton's website... Argh! I'm so annoyed... next thing you know they'll release it in the Damier Graphite as well. A rep from LV told me they're only making the Damier Graphite in men's collection. We'll see about that...

Here's my Neverfull MM --

~ Monogram Canvas Neverfull MM ~

I wanted the Neverfull PM but when I got to the store, it looked a lot smaller and knowing all the crap I like to throw in my purse, it would've never worked. But now I WANT IT!!! Argh... I'm so bipolar... probably why I love Polar Bears so much...

So, here's my wishlist for Christmas. I want the Neverfull PM in the Damier Graphite or the Mini Lin Speedy 30:

~ Damier Neverfull PM ~

~ Mini Lin Speedy 30 ~

I should've gotten the Neverfull PM... Damn me!!

Polar Bears...!

2008-11-13T00:01:00.000-08:00

You have to watch this...

So I joined Natural Resources Defense Council in effort to help save the Polar Bears which are considered 'threatened species' from the ravages of global warming; and they sent me this tote bag as a gratitude for donating money.

It's cute but I totally could've done without it... the money used to make 'em coulda went towards the cause.

I love polar bears! They are the cutest things! They look so soft and cuddly and just so gosh darn lovable! I wanted a baby one for a pet and care for it til it got too big to keep then give him/her back to their normal habitat - until a friend told me they weren't as cute and lovable as I thought they were :( My friend told me they'll eat anything that moves! Oh my...! I still think they're cute, soft and lovable and we should all join this cause and save these animals.

I Rocked The Vote...!

2008-11-08T00:25:00.000-08:00

Ok, so I voted for the first time this past Tuesday and it felt great!

I've been here in the U.S. for 24 years and I just got my citizenship this year. I know, I know... I'm the queen of procastination, what can I say.

I am so unhappy that Proposition 8 passed!! Are you serious?!?! Here's what I think, free your mind! These people have no right to judge others nor should they have the right to tell people who they can marry. Majority of these people who were Pro Prop 8 are hypocrites! Most say they're Christians and/or Catholics who are about love, etc. but yet they think they're above all by preventing others to be happy and marry the person they love. What do they care anyways. It's not like they would be living with them and/or be around them. Just let them be! Live your life the way you want and let others live theirs the way they want. Mind your own business.

Half of marriages ends in divorce anyways, so what the hell.

Anyway... let's see what happens next. Let's all hope for the best.

Love Remains The Same...!

2008-09-18T01:13:00.000-07:00

Or does it...

A thousand times I've seen you standing
Gravity like a lunar landing
You make me want to run till I find you
I shut the world away from here
I drift to you, you're all I hear
As everything we know fades to black

Half the time the world is ending
Truth is I am done pretending

I never thought that I
Had anymore to give
You're pushing me so far
Here I am without you
Drink to all that we have lost
Mistakes we have made
Everything will change
But love remains the same

I find a place where we escape
Take you with me for the space
The city buzz sounds just like a fridge
I walk the streets through seven bars
I have to find just where you are
The faces seem to blur
They're all the same

Half the time the world is ending
Truth is I am done pretending

I never thought that I
Had anymore to give
You're pushing me so far
Here I am without you
Drink to all that we have lost
Mistakes we have made
Everything will change
But love remains the same

So much more to say
So much to be done
Don't you trick me out
We shall overcome
It's all left still to play

We - should have the sun
Could have been inside
Instead we're over here

Half the time the world is ending
Truth is I am done pretending
Too much time too long defending
You and I are done pretending

I never thought that I
Had anymore to give
You're pushing me so far
Here I am without you
Drink to all that we have lost
Mistakes we have made
Everything will change
Everything will change

I, oh I,
I wish this could last forever
I, oh I,
As if we could last forever

Love remains the same
Love remains the same

OCDepression...!

2008-09-17T00:55:00.000-07:00

Ever been so depressed that you wish you can just go on top of the highest building, jump off and hope that your dead body splatters all over the place; but you can't because you know you won't be able to clean up after yourself, and that thought alone is what's killing you? Freakin' OCD... Oh well, at least I don't have Alzheimer's or else I'd forget what suicide is...

Do It Anyway...!

2008-09-04T22:19:00.000-07:00

I went to my oldest's (last!! he's a senior) Back-To-School night tonight and his Philosophy & Theology teacher started her 'class' with this prayer/poem written by Mother Teresa. I love it...!

~ DO IT ANYWAY ~
Written By Mother Theresa

People are often unreasonable, illogical,
and self-centered;
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, People may accuse you
of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some
false friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank,
people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building, someone
could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness,
they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today,
people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have,
and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you've got anyway.

You see, in the final analysis,
it is between you and God;

It was never between you and them anyway.

Until next time...

Suku Pendant...!

2008-08-29T09:52:00.001-07:00

Wow... it's been weeks since I've posted anything...! I've been so crazy busy, it's not even funny. I'm just stealing a few minutes to show you the beautiful pendant I got from Christine, the Sun-Goddess of Suku Art. I sent her a short story about one of my childhood memories and in return she sent me this beautiful necklace to match my latest tattoo!!! How awesome is that?!

Anyway, I was so excited when I got it in the mail and I wore it the same day! She enclosed a beautiful card as well that I meant to take a photo of, but it's filed away upstairs and I don't have much time right now so I will post it next time...

My new necklace is wooden and as you can see, it has "Inner Strength" on one side and it's translated in Tagalog - Lakas Loob - and written in Alibata on the other side. It's beautiful!! I'm going to order more for Christmas to give to the fambam...

THANK YOU CHRISTINE!! YOU'RE CREATIONS ARE BEAUTIFUL and please, keep on doing what you're doing. Mabuhay Suku Art!!

I gotta run to the Filipino store to do some grocery shopping. My cousin, Rj KoolRaul of Supreme Soul is coming over for dinner tonight with Jackie "JackStar" Lautchang of SoReal and they want home cooked Filipino meal. Yummy!

Until next time... be safe and have a safe long weekend...!

My Rock...!

2008-08-02T13:27:00.000-07:00

Christine, the Sun-Goddess, of Suku Art wanted Filipino-Americans to submit a short essay of their experience so I replied...

**********
Hi Christine,

After I read your blog about submitting our Pilipino Experience, I wasn't sure if I could pin-point -- out of the million experiences I had -- one specific thing that I was willing to share.

After mulling over several topics, I decided to share my experience about the infamous rock.

Thanks and I hope you'll enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed recollecting it...

~Racquel

**********
My Rock...

When I was a lot younger, about 30+ years ago to be exact, I remember being given a bath by my elders. Either my mom, grandma, great-grandma or the family maid. I wasn't allowed to bathe on my own because they didn't trust that I would get all the dirt off my body without using the infamous 'rock' ("batong panghilod") that every single household had in their bathrooms next to their small showering pail ("tabo").

This rock had to be the perfect oval shape and had to have just the right roughness and/or smoothness to its surface. If it was too rough or too smooth, it wouldn't work. So they say...

I hated bath times. It didn't matter who was giving me one, it was all the same painful experience. They scrubbed every inch of my body with that rock that bath times were synonymous to crying times. They tried to scrub my skin off til my whole body was red. As they were doing this, they were lecturing me at the same time. (Pilipinos and their multi-tasking...) Saying I shouldn't stay under the sun too long, I shouldn't climb every tree, I shouldn't touch this and that, etc., etc., etc. Anyway, they would say that if you didn't scrub well enough til your skin was red, that meant the dirt ("libag") hasn't come off. So they scrubbed away til I was red. Thank God I turned red easily because I'm light skinned. Nevertheless, that didn't seem to matter. It felt like they scrubbed for hours...

Anyway, as much as I used to hate those rocks when I was a kid, I also haven't been able to live without them since. Everytime someone goes home to the Philipines, the only pasalubong I want is that perfect oval, semi smooth/rough rock. I will only use one from the Philippines though...

I have one in my tub that I use everyday and just the same, I scrub every inch of my body until my skin turns red; but it's not next to a tabo... that I don't have. All I need is my rock...

**********
She has published it on her website and you can read it - amongst others - and submit your own as well:

http://www. suku-art. com/da%20story2. htm

Loserfree...!

2008-08-01T14:33:00.000-07:00

Ok, I've been meaning to write lately but I've just been so busy that I haven't been able to focus my attention on one thing! Ugh...!

Just a few subjects I wanted to touch on today... I'll elaborate more on each once I have more time to just sit down and write in peace and distraction-free.

**********
It's been so nice being loser(s)free!! No stress, no drama -- Yippee!! No annoying drama queens driving me to drink, blowing up my phone with their text messages complaining about the same damn thing, arguing with me, etc., etc., etc. It's been nice :) H said FuckHead tried calling him one day but he ignored his call. He saw him at their company meeting last night but didn't really talk to him. FuckHead came and shook his hands to say what's up but H said he shook his hands just to be civil. Then FuckHead asked him what he's been up to lately and H just replied with a one word answer and started talking to someone else. Really now, what makes you think you can call someone's wife a cunt and cuss them out like that and think you'll still be cool with them? What an idiot...

I mean, I've been thinking and analyzing things and still can't fathom the idea of how someone can be so disloyal like them, but what can you do, right? People will do what they want to do. Nothing I can do about that. As long as I know that when we were friends, I was a real friend. I treated them right and cared for them. That's what hurts me the most. I've never been betrayed like this before -- ever. But, like H says, caring is a two way street. If they don't care about me then it's not worth having them in my life and they're certainly not worth my friendship. Their loss, not mine. It just sucks getting hurt by people who you thought were your friends. I did realized that he has NO loyalty to anyone... I would elaborate more but I've spent way too much time on them already, so I won't.

My childhood friend from the Philippines, Rosario, said my curse won't work because I prayed right away. She said I should've waited 24 hours and perhaps lit black candles. LOL!!! Always good to have friends who can make you laugh at the right moments... I've been friends with her and Nova since we were in elementary...

That's the thing with me though, when I make friends, it's forever. That's how loyal I am. My two oldest friends are Maria - we've been best friends for over 15 years; and Lisa - we've been 'mare's' for over 10 years as well. Those are what you call real friends. Not like these two drama queens -- assholes!!

Anyway, they're out of my life for good and I'm glad. With friends like them, who needs enemies. Thank God I got to know the real them sooner than later.

I don't regret anything though, because in life there are no regrets... just lessons learned. They will get theirs one day. It won't be from me but when they do get it, it'll hurt twice as much. You know what they say, karma's a bitch and what goes around comes around - twice!!

**********
Social life has been busy lately... tiring but fun! Since Supreme Soul has been eliminated from ABDC, we've gone to two welcome home parties for them. Been surrounded by fambams and new friends. It's been great. Busy but great. Running around a lot. Next week I have to go to Fremont for my cuzzin's workshop.

I've had all these friend requests from lil girls on myspace, it's been crazy! All of them asking for my cuzzin's autograph and/or SS stickers. The other I received his first fan letter in the mail. LOL! I told him if this keeps up he's gonna need to get a P.O. box...

**********
My boyz schedule has been hectic as well.

My oldest has basketball games in the city every Sunday. He also got a job in town, which is good. Wednesday we had to go to traffic court for his second speeding ticket! He's gonna turn 17 this month and we're having a combined birthday party/family reunion. Relatives from St. Louis and Las Vegas will be in town so we decided to just have a mini family reunion. Should be fun. Crowded but fun :D

Lil one has karate twice a week and tennis once a week. So on Thursdays he has tennis and karate. He loves it though. He's also going to start acting/singing/modeling/dancing boot camp in two weeks. Classes are in San Bruno every Saturday AND Sunday for six weeks. He had his first photoshoot a week ago. He did real well. He's a natural ham :D

They both start school in two weeks... I should be able to start working out again. I haven't gone in a month... :(

**********
Anyway... gotta go get some stuff done. H wants to go on a date tonight. Maybe we'll see a movie...

Betrayed...!

2008-07-24T13:04:00.000-07:00

Wow...! You would not believe what kind of past two days I've had. It's been amazing...-ly sad, depressing, hurtful, painful... ugh, you name it. Filled with so many emotions I can barely get them organized... freakin OCD!

First of all:

***[spoiler alert! If you don't want to find out who gets eliminated from ABDC tonight, do not read on!] ***

Too late, you kept going! Supreme Soul has been prematurely eliminated from ABDC. I found out right after taping on Tuesday night. I was livid!! I went on one of my half Filipino/half Spaniard, opening a can of Filipino whoop ass, hell raising rampage ala RockStar -- thank God I never made it down to L.A. for the live taping due to circumstances beyond my control! I would probably be still sitting on my brown flat Filipino ass in jail for raising hell in the studio and having to be escorted out of Warner Bros. premises by the SWAT team. Validates the fact that God works in mysterious ways...

Anyway, spent the rest of the night in shocked and partially speechless -- the entire fambam were all livid and crushed.

So, having OCD, my natural initial reaction is compulsively inundating my myspace's bulletin board with vulgar, pissed off posts directed towards ABDC and the SS haterz out there. Of course I also knew that by doing so, I've ruined it for everyone and just leaked the results to everyone on my friend's list and to whomever they fwd'd that bulletin too. Evil... I know :( I can't help it sometimes... especially when I'm pissed off beyond control. After a coupla hours of breathing normally, I calmed down a bit and reposted my bulletin with a PG-13 rating. Then overnight I deleted the vulgar post altogether and just posted something sweet and more humane. I get angry initially but give me time and I'll soften up. A bit... sometimes...

**********
Secondly!! ARGH!! I have never been so betrayed in my whole entire life!!

[For further reference read my "Chicks Before Dicks...!" blog]

So after PDQB and I had that text fight on the 16th, FuckHead calls me and we talked and I told him, 'I don't wanna say I said so but don't say I never warned you about her mental disability and her drama!' So he says, 'well now I know. I'm not contacting her again.' That night, he sent me a text message saying, 'how about we all meet up for drinks, talk it over and you two can make up.' FUCK NO!! So, over the weekend he text msgs me to see if I want to hang out. I declined. I haven't hung out with him in over a month and life has been pretty stress free and drama free for me so I wasn't truly sure I wanted to 'go there' again. It's been fun hangin out w/ him in the past but it always turned into a big drama afterwards and frankly, I'm just too old for drama.

Yesterday he was off and was asking me if I wanted to go shopping at Ikea with him. I already had plans. Text msgd back and forth pretty much throughout the day mostly insulting each other and talking shit. Fast forward to last night, around maybe 9ish. I asked him if he was working tomorrow (today now). He wasn't sure if he was and then thought I was asking because I wanted to go to Ikea. No... I asked because I'm going to Supreme Soul's Welcome Home party in Foster City and I was gonna give him the info to perhaps go with Ann, since she lives in Hayward. [I like Ann. She's fun to hang out with and having nice big real boobs is a plus too :D Lol!] MotherF'r replied with, 'I might be going out w/ someone tomorrow but how about we crash your party and you two can make up.' SOB!! How dare you!! So I told him that if he meant PDQB, they can both forget it. I'm done w/ the mental bitch and asshole knows this. Again, I'm shocked and livid [Tuesday night all over again]! I'm like, after what she did and said, you are still hangin out w/ that psycho back-stabbin bitch?!

Text msgs flew back and forth between us but I don't want to bore you with the details so, bottom line is, his reason for talking to her is that she has something he wants and said that I knew from the get-go that he wanted to F' her so why is it a big deal. He said I don't have to be friends w/ her, he just wants to F' her! OMG!! That's not my point! My point is, H and I have been nothing but good friends to him. We invited him to our home w/ open arms, invited him to dinner, planned a birthday dinner out for him, etc. We treated him like a real brother. Family. When his car got towed, who took drove over the bridge during morning commute hours to take him to the yard to get his car back? Who listened to him whined for hours, days, months about his lost love Coco? [Btw, PDQB knows that he just wants a piece of ass and will always be in love w/ Coco.] When he and his other friend, K, were stuck in Berkeley hills drunk off their asses at 4am, K laying on the sidewalk over his own vomit, who got out of bed and drove 35 minutes at 4:30 a.m. to pick them up?!?! ME!! This is how you repay us?!?! After everything that we've done for him, he picks a piece of mental, psychotic, drama queen, desperate, disloyal, untrustworthy, paranoid, insecure loser ass??? Where is your loyalty??? What kind of a person are you to pick an easy lay over real friends!!! After she went off and cussed out both of us and accused us of f'n around just b/c neither one of us have talked to her for weeks, out of nowhere - you're still gonna be friends w/ that?! Wow! And the most outrageous thing is his rationale as to why. That's what gets me most of all!! Just because she has something you want??? A piece of used and abused tossed aside like salad ass??? His loyalty should've been with me...

I told him last night that they deserve each other... they're both disloyal, untrustworthy, worthless piece of shits. Such desperate losers willing to lose friends over a piece of worthless ass. With friends like them, who needs enemies. I told him not to contact me ever again.

His reply: 'Fuck off and die you fuckin good for nothing cunt!' Fwd'd that one to H with the words: this is some ass whooping comments.

H told me this morning he told FuckHead to never communicate with me again and that his cunt comment went too far.

I checked my email this morning and he sent me this email:

"Fuck off you stupid, miserable, bipolar bitch. If you don't want to be friends over some stupid shit like that, then you must be an enemy. Enemies of mine get no fucken respect. This is what you wanted so have it your fucken way. Send your dumbass forwarded junk piece of shit emails to someone who gives a fuck. You aint shit to me anymore, I'm done trying to be friends with you, I'm done being your little bro, I'm done period. Fuck off and live your goddamn miserable fuck of a life without me in it, you ungrateful blind bitch."

WOW!!! Again, I fwd'd it to H saying:

"That mother fucker sent me this email. I fwd'd this [joke fwd] email in the afternoon before we fought. He sent this this morning after I've told him last night not to contact me ever again b/c he's dead to me. I do not deserve anyone talking to me this way. I've deleted him off of everything - phones, emails, messenger."

Long story short, he's out of our lives. H is washing his hands as well and we're gonna go live our lives without those assholes.

**********
I was talking to my friend, Nova, last night [she's in Thailand] and I told her, I'm so hurt and betrayed by all this. Do I hurt a lot because I care too much for people? Do I hurt a lot because I expect the same treatment I give to people and when they treat me the opposite way, it crushes me to no end? Is it wrong to expect loyalty back from friends? Whatever happened to, 'Do unto others what you want done unto you.' I would never, in my life, think of even choosing a backstabbing piece of ass over any of my friends. Never. I can not fathom the idea that some people will do this with no qualms whatsoever.

Anyway, I gotta go get ready for the party. God knows I take for-evaaaah getting ready...

In the meantime, here's the curse I casted [is that right? Do you 'cast' a curse like you would a spell? I don't know, this is my first time doing this :D] on them last night as I laid in bed feeling betrayed and hurt. Filled with anger and hatred. More so towards myself for thinking and believing they were a friend. I wonder if it'll work... only time will tell, I guess... :D

"My curse to the two desperate psychotic mentally ill drama queen disloyal worthless losers that I once thought were my friends.

After everything I've done for the both of you, you both chose a piece of ass over the real friendship I once gave you with all my heart. I cared for you, I defended you and I loved you as the friends that I thought you were. I never expected to be betrayed like this by the both of you. You deserve each other and belong in the bottomless pit of darkness and pain hell has to offer.

From this day forward, you are both dead to me. I promise that the both of you will never, ever find the happiness, love and fulfilling life that every person on earth so fully deserve. You will live your old age alone, lonely, loveless and miserably. You will never find that true love nor will you ever have that true loyal friend I was to you ever again. You will live the rest of your lives filled w/ pain, heartache and sorrow. You will have endless failed relationships and you will be forever surrounded by disloyal, dishonest, untrustworthy, untruthful, evil people who will only have their best interest at heart and will always choose someone else over you - people just like you or worse. You will be forever unhappy and will never have peace and calm in your heart, life and soul."

**********
Evil, I know... Afterwards, I prayed to God and asked him to remove this anger and hatred I have towards them and to give me the strength to forgive them. However... I forgive, but I do not forget. Even then, I will never let them back in my life ever again.

Ever.

Body Art...!

2008-07-22T13:20:00.001-07:00

Someone asked me about my dragonfly tattoo the other day. This person asked me why it was purple and why the body was scribbles. I told him it wasn't 'scribbles' it's called Baybayin or Alibata Script, the ancient language of the Philippine Islands. Christine Balza, the Sun Goddess of Suku Art helped me translate it and showed me how to write the word I wanted. I also got this beautiful necklace from them.

~ The front ~

~ The Back ~

The front has the Alibata and the word 'maganda' in tagalog. The back is the english word for 'maganda' -- vanity? Conceited? Nah... LOL!

The body of my dragonfly tattoo translates to 'lakas-loob' or inner-strength, willpower, confidence, no fear or what have you. Basically translates to that characteristic each and every one of us have inside that lies in the very pit of our stomach that most of us don't know we have, until we hit rock bottom or face something difficult in life; and it takes everything we can muster up inside before we realize we have it and conquer the difficult task ahead and then we say, 'Alas! You can't take me down bitch! I'm a woman and I have something you can never take away from me - it's called strength and willpower and I will face anything life throws at me because it's something that lives inside of me and it's something I will never be afraid to use. My strength, my willpower is my best ally." [Wow, random...]

~ My fourth tattoo ~

The wings are purple because it's my fave color. It's on the back of my right shoulder blades. Very common place, I know. I designed this dragonfly tattoo. I chose the dragonfly because it reminds me of my childhood in the Philippines. We used to catch them :D Good times...

All my tattoos are pretty small in size. I can't do major body modifications. Not now. Maybe someday when I find that 'thing' that I can put on my body permanently. Right now, it hasn't caught my eye or imagination yet.

~ My first tattoo ~

I got my first tattoo when I was 26 years old. I was going through something major in life and needed something to remind myself that, 'this too shall pass' and something I can look back on and say, 'I did it, I conquered it and I survived!' It's a yin-yang symbol to signify my martial arts background and the just the meaning of the symbol itself represents myself. My moods. My life. You're never on top of the food groups all the time and it's never always positive and good. Just to remind me that there's always going to be ups and downs.

On the outside of the yin-yang are lil fishies going the opposite ways. It's the western symbol for Pisces -- which is what I am. Again, signifying that life will never be one way. We gotta learn to swim against the current some days. The artist forgot the eyes though... Oh well. It kinda symbolizes the fear of the unknown. Sometimes we don't know what's ahead of us or where we're going -- just go and live life. Blindly but cautiously. It's on the outside of my right foot just above the ankle. I designed this tattoo.

~ My second tattoo ~

My second one I got six years ago. I was 30 years old. It's a hibiscus - Hawaii's national flower. H and I got a matching one on the same place but his isn't fuschia like mine, of course. His is more tribal - plain black. We got it after our honeymoon in Hawaii - shocker. Also because when I was young, I had three boils on my body and I was bedridden for like over six months and everyone thought I was going to die. My great-grandma, Lolang Tibang, smashed hibiscus flowers everyday and covered the boils w/ em until the flowers were dried up. She did this repeatedly throughout the day until I was all better. We also had these tall hibiscus plants surrounding our house in the Philippines. This tattoo is on the outside of my left leg between my knee and ankle. I didn't design this one, just picked it out from the artist's book of artwork :D

~ My third tattoo ~

My third tattoo is on the back of my neck. It's two letter Rs going the opposite directions. [Observation: I seem to have a strong interest in things going the opposite directions -- could it be a symbolism for a sexual position that I like...? Hmmm...] My boyz first names both starts with the letter R. They have different personalities hence the opposite directions. I jokingly tell people it's on the back of my neck because they're pains in the neck but of course that's not true :p I designed this one as well.

As with all my tattoos, they each have a significance in my life and they each remind me of something. So naturally, my next tattoo will be something that will honor my late father. I had an idea for it but no artists can do it... Oh well. Back to the drawing board on that one.

Bring It On...!

2008-07-21T19:37:00.001-07:00

Check out my boxing gloves filled with SS stickers from Invisible Stripes. They're Supreme Soul's main sponsor. I gave everyone in my boxing class sets of stickers for their gloves and lockers :D

I've been with Rapacon's Martial Arts since I was 18 years old. I never got my black belt because I came and went. Too many responsibilities and it kinda just fell in the back burner. They never stopped treating me like family though. One thing with them, once you're part of the ohana, you're forever part of the ohana :)

I just went back recently. I take boxing Monday and Wednesday nights and Boxing Cardio Punch on Tuesday and Thursday nights. I'm gonna start taking kickboxing on Saturday mornings.

Wanna spar...?

Onion Rings On Steroids...!

2008-07-19T23:46:00.000-07:00

Holy catorze!! Check out the size of these onion rings!!

My boyz and I went out to Athenian Grille on the Waterfront in Suisun and I kid you not, these onion rings were almost as big my lil one's face! We haven't been here in awhile and I don't remember the onion rings being these big. I literally had to cut 'em half to be able to eat em. It was good though. Went perfectly well with my usual catsup and tabasco sauce dip :D

After a nice lunch outside in their patio, the three of us walked down the marina and took a nice stroll. There's a new place there called Gallery Salon and Spa and I wanted to go in to get a brochure to see what kind of services they offer but it looked so dark and gloomy inside that I didn't bother. I'll stick to my usual places.

We were gonna drop by my parents' house but they weren't home. Not my real birth parents but first H's parents. We've been divorced for about 10 years now but they're still family and they never stopped treating me like their own. We're all still very close. Nothing has changed... just that I'm not married to V anymore. I hella love this family.

My boyz had a quick race back to the car but I couldn't join them because as usual, I had my tsinelas on :D

I love hangin out and spending time with my boyz. I treasure and cherish these times. Good times...

Had to brush my teeth twice when we got home. Onion breath. Ugh.

PDQB Update...!

2008-07-19T16:53:00.000-07:00

So... I called AT&T where PDQB works to lodge a complaint on mental bitch and I got a call back from someone in their human resource department on Friday.

Her message states that she would like to speak with me to get the phone number where the text messages were being sent from and to confirm the employee's name to perform further investigation.

I haven't returned her call because I'm having second thoughts about what I did. I acted compulsively... Hey, I have OCD so you can't really blame me for that. Anyway, I may hate the bitch and yes, she's been voted off RockStar Island but do I really want her to lose her job just because she's a paranoid, insecure, mental, psychotic drama queen bitch? I mean, being a bearer of the above-mentioned ugly traits is punishment enough, dontcha think? I mean, she is all of the above and she will never have any true friends and God knows when she'll ever get a man - a good man that won't treat her as just a booty call, but do I really need to add to her misfortunes? Isn't that bad enough Karma for her?

I mean, I believe in Karma and I know Karma is a bigger bitch than I am; and I'm not evil and vindictive like that... So, I'll probably just let this go. Keep her off RockStar Island and move on.

Like Glenn Clark said: "If you wish to travel far and fast, travel light. Take off all your envies, jealousies, unforgiveness, selfishness, and fears."

So there... just move on. Forgive but don't forget.

Welcome Home LV Speedy 30...!

2008-07-18T23:46:00.000-07:00

Yippee! I finally got my Louis Vuitton Speedy 30 back today -- after being without it for about three weeks.

I purchased it way back in February of 2007 at the Louis Vuitton ("LV") South Coast Plaza store in Costa Mesa and after about 10 months, the piping on the bottom around the sides of the purse broke. So I called the LV store in Union Square and the saleswoman told me to bring it in for repair and it'll cost me roughly $150 because they'll have to replace the entire piping and ship it out for repair. What?! Are you freakin kidding me?! The purse alone costs almost $700 then I'm supposed to shell out another $150? I could buy a cheap Coach purse at the outlets for that! I held on to it a little bit longer but the more I used it the more I felt uneasy about it because I didn't want it to completely rip out.

So during our summer vacation in Las Vegas this past month, I decided bite the bullet and brought it to the LV store at The Forum Shops at Caesars. The manager, Marive Cruz, helped me out and looked at the purse, looked up my account in their system and told me it would cost me nothing! Nothing as in zero, zip, nada, zilch, nil dollars! I was like... 'are you serious? The LV store in SF told me it'll cost me like $150.' She said nope! What a great surprise! So Cyrena Garrido finished the transaction - examined the purse and noted everything on the order form and voila! She said it might take between 4 - 6 weeks for me to get it back. Wow... that long? Of all my LV purses, Speedy is my fave! Oh well... at least he'll be taken care of.

On Monday, I got a call from Marive and she told me she received my Speedy and will ship it out via FedEx the following day. Well, Speedy arrived on Thursday and I was more than delighted to see him again!! I've missed him sooooo much!!

I've been using my Popincourt Haut while Speedy was in rehab :D I don't really like using Popincourt on a daily basis because he doesn't hold as much stuff and I always carry a bottle of water with me in addition to my make-up kit, my LV Ludlow wallet, SideKick (which is bulky as hell!), my Tweezerman kit (nail clipper, hangnail clipper, tweezer and nail file), a bottle of Motrin 800, pack of gum, lotion, and whatever else besides the above necessities I may throw in my purse throughout the day. So, I needed my Speedy back...!

~ Popincourt Haut ~

~ Ludlow ~

In hindsight, I wish I would've bought the Neverfull PM as opposed to buying the Neverfull GM during our summer vacation in Hawaii last August of 2007. I could use the PM on a daily basis to give Speedy a break sometimes because I only get to use GM as an overnight bag. This bag is literally neverfull. The sidestraps changes the capacity of the bag and when you use it to its fullest, wow! A great overnight bag. I love it but I think I'd use the PM more. [Note to self: add PM to wishlist] It was awesome buying GM in Hawaii because the tax rate was only like 4% - a steal compare to the Bay Area's tax rate.

~ Neverfull GM (closed sidestraps) ~

~ Neverfull GM (open sidestraps) ~

I also have the Pochette but I only use that when I go out at night, i.e., clubbing, bar, dinner. It's a cutie...

~ Pochette ~

Wow! That was a long welcome note to Speedy! I rambled on about my whole collection of LVs! Told you I'm random...

But...! My fave has to be the brown box my Ludlow came in. It is super cute and I use it as my jewelry box when we go on vacays.

It's awesome :)

Anyway, THANK YOU Marive and Cyrena! Much love ladies...!

SUPREME SOUL...!

2008-07-18T03:20:00.000-07:00

Supreme Soul reppin the Yay Arrreeeeeaaaa!!

It's 3:30 a.m. and I just finished voting. I started at 7pm before I even got to watch the show at 10pm. Supreme Soul ("SS") killed(!!) it again and even caused a backyard brawl between Lil Mama and Shane Sparks (two of the three judges).

**********
I loved that the focus of the pre-show interview was about them being mislabeled as cocky.

First of all, the word 'cocky' was used by Shane Sparks during the first episode and that word has been synonymous with Supreme Soul eversince.

Second, they are confident. There's a great deal of difference between being cocky and confident. Confidence exudes when you have faith in yourself and in your ability to do whatever. Cockiness exudes when you don't know what the hell you're doing but think you do, so you gotta act all hard to make others think you know what you're doing.

Third, haterz go home! I don't see your asses dancin on stage...

**********
We were at the live taping last week when they killed it - again! The whole experience was ambivalent to me and left me sort of bittersweet. That studio was filled with SS fans and they (besides us) were all wearing their SS shirts, holding up their SS rally towels, hoodies, homemade signs, etc. but when I watched the show, they didn't show any of that. They showed Taeko from last season's Fysh n' Chicks doing the SS hand sign but that was about it.

When they announced SS being on the bottom two, that entire studio was booing but again, the final package didn't show that. There were so many things that MTV edited out and they made SS looked like they weren't loved and/or didn't have much fans and/or support.

After they 'Party['d] Like A Rockstar' (that's right, they made a song about me because everyone knows when I party, I party right!),

they brought the whole house down and had everyone on their feet screamin and stompin, but did they show that on TV? Hell no!

So, anyway, I was kind of turned off by the fact that they were portrayed like they weren't loved and/or supported.

But hey, KNOW YOUR RANK!! You can, by the way, purchase your own 'KNOW YOUR RANK' shirts from Invisible Stripes and other SS merchandise as well as other rockin shirts they have at their store. You can visit them at their store and/or online. Love them!!

**********
I must say though... I'm so sad that A.S.I.I.D. left. It was so unexpected. I would've never guessed... and didn't. I never cried during elimination this season - and last! - except for tonight. The sad thing is that we met them - along with all the other crews - and when you see them go your heart is crushed and you're left with tears in your eyes. We love them and our new fambam in Philly, the boyz of Phresh Select. I lived in Detroit briefly so there was that bond with A.S.I.I.D. already. Can't wait to see you all again... much love!!

~ With four A.S.I.I.D. dancers ~

~ The rest of A.S.I.I.D. ~

~ We love you Della! ~

~ Phresh Select ~

~ Rukkus with Roan and Ryan ~

Detroit... Philly... Wherever you are, you are loved. We hope you all know that you're fambam. Keep in touch...

Chicks Before Dicks...!

2008-07-16T16:45:00.000-07:00

Can you say psycho bitch?! This chick is what I call a true psychotic, jealous, drama queen bitch!

I met her over a year ago through mutual friends. I never liked her nor trusted her but I sort of put up with her because she was around when I was with my other friends. She's not loyal nor will she ever be a true friend to anyone. My other friends gave her this nickname, 'Tony The Tiger' because she's such a flake - get it, frosted flakes? LOL! I called her 'Palitaw' after the Filipino dessert palitaw because she is lulubog, lilitaw. She'll be there when she wants to be there but other than that, she'll make plans with you but when something better comes up, she'll ditch you without a word.

Anyway, I hung out with her because she was fun to hang out with at times when she wasn't being a drama queen. She's one of those people who can't handle their alcohol well. Once she's lit, she's super emo! She acts like Mother Teresa but just the opposite. She's a liar and will always pick dicks over her chicks. My other former friend, whom I referred to as FuckHead used to say, she only wants to hang out when she has no one to do. Damn right!

So anyway, the Monday before I went to Las Vegas ("LV") last month, she and I went to the Dead Fish for a couple of drinks. (May I also add that her cheap ass never paid for drinks once?!) Couple turned into about four drinks and then she begged me to contact FuckHead to have drinks with us. FuckHead had to work the next day so he said he'll come out but only for a drink. So we go to his place and he drove us back to Dead Fish - that was dumb... he could've just met us there. Anyway, she and I went outside for fresh air and she started going emo on me. She asked why I was never open to her the way I was open to the other girls and for some reason she feels like I don't trust her. Ya think?! Helleeewww!! So I told her. One thing about me is that I will never lie once you ask me a question. You just better be prepared to hear the truth once you ask me a question because that's the only thing I will answer you with is the truth. I told her because she's not loyal and that she's lied to me numerous times and has always put guys - who doesn't even want her - over me. That's not a quality I want in a friend.

So we go back to FuckHead's place to get my car and she and FuckHead started 'messin' around so I told them I will leave them alone and he can drive her back to get her car. No problem with him because he just wants to get lucky :D She ran after me to my car and caused a scene in the parking lot! Mind you this is around 2am - drama queen! She started yelling at me about how she would never leave me behind, etc. etc. etc. WTF did she expect me to do? Hang around and watch them make out and/or stay and wait for them to finish their nasty bizniz?! How sick! No thanks... So I yelled back and told her that this is the reason why I am not close to her at all. She's psychotic and a drama queen!

Anyway, long story short we sort of made up after that big soap opera episode and I went on to my vacation. FuckHead and I had a falling out as well but I can't remember what it's about this time. He and I are always fighting and telling each other to fuck off but we eventually make up. I'm his fuckhead Ate (big sis) and he's my fuckhead lil' bro. We are/were close and I'm pretty sure Psycho Drama Queen Bitch ("PDQB") was jealous of that because she has no close friends at all. During the week that I was in LV, FuckHead and I tried to squash the bs but neither one of took the initiative the right way. On my way back from LV, I finally told him that it was obvious he and I could never be friends.

The next day, PDQB was text msg'ing me about small stuff then when out of nowhere she asks, 'are you and [FuckHead] ok?' I'm like, why? So she tells me he's been text msg'ing her all week while I was gone and has been telling her things. She also said that he asked her to go out drinking last night but she couldn't go out because it was her brother's birthday, but invited him over but he declined. She said that if he and I weren't friends she won't hang out with him at all. I told her to go ahead and hang out with him. Has nothing to do with me. They should hang out and see where things go - they might end up getting married. They are both single after all. She says, 'no, I'm cool.' (Btw, he told me he only text msgd her once - when I was on my way back from LV and he never told her anything. She made up the other stuff about him text msg'ing her all week, etc. Liar!)

I haven't talked to her eversince. I tried text msg'ing her but she never returned any of my msg's for reasons unbeknownst to me. Okay, fine, I can take a hint.

So I'm hangin' out happily because I got rid of two drama queens in my life and they just both drive me to drink anyway! It was shortlived. Less than two weeks later, I'm down in L.A. to watch the live taping of America's Best Dance Crew ("ABDC") because my lil' cousin is Kool Raul of Supreme Soul ("SS") reppin the Yay Area. FuckHead IM's me on Yahoo! Messenger and asks if I'm still mad. I said I was never mad, just preferred to remove the negativities and dramas out of my life. He tells me that PDQB asked him to go out drinking couple of days ago but she was playing games so he told her to fuck off and quit being a drama queen. (Liar!! What happened to, 'no, I'm cool' etc.? Told you, with her it's dicks before chicks. At this point I decided that I am so done with her and her lyin' bipolar, psychotic ass. Done. FuckHead and I haven't talked to each other or hung out with each other either. Fine with me.) She goes off on him... surprise, surprise. So he decides to cut her off as well.

Ahhhh... peace, quiet and stress free... Halt, who goes there?! Damn, the drama queens are back!! Can't they just leave me the fuck alone?!
FuckHead sent me a text this morning asking if I said something to PDQB that may have caused her to cuss him out in the middle of the night, last night. (They haven't talked to each other since the time she asked him to hang out but was being a drama queen so he told her to fuck off.) I told him I haven't talked to her since I got back from LV but she sent me some dumbass text that made no sense last night and I ignored it. (She's one of those illiterate text msgrs that writes everything in short cut and uses no vowels and expects you to decipher the msg. Fob!!) Apparently, she sent him a msg saying, 'fuck you both for playing games and go on living your sinful lives!' WTF?! FuckHead said that apparently she thinks he and I are fuckin around because we're not talking to her anymore and she thinks he and I have been hangin' out all these times. What a delusional psycho bitch! Bwahahahahahaha!! Hilarious to think how this bipolar psycho's mind works. The hamsters living in her head got the wheels turnin but they're goin the wrong way! Bwahhahhaha!! Sorry... I can't stop laughing. What an idiot?!

So, I finally broke my silence and told her the fuck off!

MY 1ST TEXT MSG TO PDQB:

"FuckHead just text me and asked me if I said something to you that caused you to cuss him out. FYI, I haven't seen him since the last time you and I saw him nor have I talked to him this past few weeks. I haven't talked to you in almost a month. Whatever drama you are creating now, leave my name out of it. For you to tell him to fuck us both for playing games and go on living our sinful lives is uncalled for! So YOU fuck off! Don't be going around casting stones b/c you should look in the mirror first! I have my own reasons for not talking to you anymore b/c 1, you've lied to me many times and 2, I prefer friends who goes by the saying, 'chicks before dicks!'

HER REPLY:

Lol! You look in the mirror and tell yourself to FUCK OFF!

[Ok... what a dumb unoriginal reply...]

MY 2ND MSG:

Why would I tell myself to fuck off? I like myself. Unlike you, you hate yourself and you are so unhappy that you go around creating drama and picking fights with people who hasn't talked to you in weeks!

HER REPLY:

Lol you psycho bipolar nut!

[Oh ok, I'm the psycho bipolar nut... I'm not the one "lol" in all my replies...]

MY 3RD MSG:

Look who's talking... You are the most psychotic person I know. No wonder no man can stand you long enough to stay with you. LOL!! Leave me the fuck alone!! Go check yourself in and wear that white strait jacket that's been hangin' in your closet!

HER REPLY:

Lol take your own advice lol! psycho bitch!

[Again, I'm not the nut who keeps laughing here...]

MY 4TH MSG:

Funny how you just keep calling me names that aren't affecting me. Perhaps it's because everything else I've said is true and you prefer to counter by calling me names to make yourself feel better. Goodbye psycho bitch! You were never a friend!

HER REPLY:

Lol your true colors are showing! psycho bitch lol!

[I'm convinced... she needs major psychiatric help!]

MY 5TH REPLY:

It's because I saw yours long, long time ago. Feel better and go on with your life. I prefer my life w/out psycho drama queens like you. I've deleted you from my contact list and from my life. Good luck to you and hopefully one day you'll find the true meaning of friendship b/c apparently you don't know that's why you have no loyal friends. Loyalty is something you need to learn. Goodbye and please do not contact me again!

HER REPLY:

Lol psycho BITCH :)

MY 6TH AND FINAL REPLY:

With that kind of mentality you will never find someone. You will grow old alone with no one to push your drama queen ass in your wheelchair and no one to help you soak your dentures at night. You will never find the true meaning of love. I wish you nothing but the best because I feel sorry for your sad ass. So sad...

HER REPLY (no surprise!):

Lol psycho BITCH :)

After my final reply I ignored all her msgs after that. She sent me that 'lol psycho bitch :)' msg like 10 more times. Can you say, LOSER?! Can you imagine this psycho?? Cussing out people and starting fights with them when they haven't talked to her for weeks?! What a loose canon... she thrives off of drama and when no one is giving her any attention, she creates her own drama just so she has something going on in her empty life.

Anyway, my bitch ass decided to call AT&T headquarters in San Ramon, where PDQB works (she's a stalker too, because she requested to transfer there because the guy who doesn't want her ass works there and he's told her numerous times he don't want her needy ass but she keeps stalking him...) and filed a complaint saying one of their employees keeps sending me text msgs even after I've told her not to contact me ever again. She's been doing it all day while on company time :)

You don't fuck me and expect to get away with it... BWAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH!!!

I'm Baaaaack...!

2008-07-16T01:18:00.000-07:00

I was on here for awhile, but due to personal responsibilities I didn't get to blog much and sort of just went away. Then I started bloggin' on friendster but I'm not a big fan of their blog software.

So, the Reader's Digest version is -- I'm back! I will repost my previous fave blogs and I will do my best to blog more and not neglect bloggin again.

As always, I welcome any and all of your comments, opinions, props/smacks - just keep 'em to yourself :) Kidding!